Month 7, Day 19-Fat and "HAPPY" ????! Confession time!

As hard as this is to do, here it goes, confession time.  I have not been practicing my God-given gift of self-control for awhile now.  I have been practicing foolishness and not using the wisdom God has given me and guess what it shows.  I have gained all the weight back that I lost plus more because I have not been eating healthy consistently and I have not been walking or working out like I should.  Everything that I learned in the first month of "7" when I strictly and successfully ate only 7 of the same foods everyday for a month, I had pretty much forgotten.  Today I went back and read my blog to reflect and remember what God had revealed to me. Here is an excerpt from month one of my blog in February Day 29...

"The most important lesson I have learned through this experiment is that I do have the Holy Spirit given fruit of Temperance, also known as Self-Control! It is definitely a gift and now I recognize it as such and need to be responsible to use it the way God wants me too. I need to use it daily, anytime God prompts my heart when I feel excessive tendancies trying to take over!
In everything I do, even in eating and drinking, I need to do all things unto the Lord in such a way that He is glorified and honored in it.
I've learned so much just in this first month of seven and I am already making drastic changes in my walk and relationship with Jesus my Lord. I'm excited to see where this next month will take me. Change me to be more like you Jesus, that is my hearts desire!"

Bottom line, I have been living in sin.  I have not acted responsible with the gift God has given me and I have given in to excessiveness with sweets.  WHY do I love sugar so much?  It is soooo bad for me?  I don't want it, but I still eat it because I really do want it!  You name it, I love it...candy, cookies, cake, ice cream, pie...if it's sweet I want it, and very rarely say no to it.  I am a glutton with sweets, and I am fat and I am not "HAPPY". 

For a couple of weeks now, God has been convicting me, working in me, stirring my heart and shining a light on my sin by using my pastor who I admiringly call Rev Kev.  He just finished preaching the entire book of Ecclesiastes to our church....WOW...what a great sermon series, it was seriously EPIC! (just so you know this is the first time for me using the word "epic" ;) 
Now, I know every person on this Earth has sin and every Christian struggles with overcoming their sin which appears in many different forms, but in order to overcome our sin, we must first acknowledge it and confess it, so that is what I am doing.  This morning before church I decided that I was going to be brave and bold and make my confession public through my blog and during the sermon in church this morning God confirmed to my heart that yes, I definitely needed to share.  I had a chance to share how God was working in me at my life group tonight, but I just didn't even know where to begin or how to put all of my thoughts into words, so I said nothing.  A public speaker I am not, sometimes I wish I was though.

So whoever even made up the phrase "fat and happy"? In my opinion the two words can not exist together. I feel anything but happy right now.  For the last few weeks, I've honestly felt myself feeling slightly depressed, uncomfortable and even feeling anti-social where I just want to stay away from friends and people.  I have forced myself a couple of times to go out with friends or to schedule social times and even to NOT cancel my already scheduled social plans, but honestly I pretty much had to force myself and that is soooo not like me as I really love people and I just really love to be around people.  I love listening to friends stories and laughing with them or even just being there to listen when they need someone to talk to... it has been a rough few months, but admittedly, it's all my fault for not being obedient to God.  He has given me wisdom and I need to walk in it, no one else can do it for me, the descision and choice is up to me.  I praise God that He can and will carry me through, I will not walk alone, but I do need to walk upright. 

So today begins a new journey, a journey with God, to truly live the way I KNOW I should.  A journey to a healthy lifestyle and this time, I will continue until I have reached all of my weight loss goals.  Starting tomorrow I have my first goal... to work out for six weeks straight doing my "Slim in 6" video and eating healthy lower carb and  weighing myself daily.  I will definitely blog my progress, because it really does help to keep me accountable.  I must do this not only for my physical and mental health, but for my spiritual health as well.  I must also do this for my husband who needs a wife who is healthy, happy, and confident. And for my kids who need a mom who is active and fun, not someone who is tired all the time and sore because her body is out of shape!

LORD Jesus, Thank You for revealing to me and shining a light on my sin.  Please forgive me, cleanse me from all unrighteousness and help me to change from the inside out.  Please give me the strength and endurance I need to be all that You desire me to be for You.  I desire to be a clean vessel so that You can and will use me for Your Kindgom and for Your glory.  Please make me a reflection of You.  I humbly ask in Your precious and Holy Name that is above every name. Amen.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV)  "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,  for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."