When I'm asked introspective questions, that I'm not prepared for, (this happened awhile ago) I will answer as quickly and honestly as possible, but then, if the questions are weighty enough, I'll still be processing the questions and my answers hours later. It's a curse. Hence the reason my eyes stay open long into the night. Without going into the questions or the answers I'm talking about, I'll start with a different introspective question which came as a result of the initial questions. 'Am I the only one who ever feels like a failure in ALL areas of life?' I know it's a bit extreme, but I'm usually an all or nothing person, therefore, I'm pretty extreme by nature. Although, lately I've really noticed a change in my own character and I'm actually becoming not as all or nothing as I've always been. This can be a good thing and a bad thing, but for now I'm only going to talk about one good thing I've noticed about myself lately. One example, tonight when dinner and dessert came around, both consisted of 'small' portions even though I was hungry and could have justified eating way more. I'm so amazed how much control God has given me these days when it comes to food. I can honestly say He has set me free from the sin of gluttony! I used to eat, a lot, anything and everything, sabotaging my body, this very temple that He created to dwell in, with all kinds of and a lot of unhealthy food. Until, I confessed my sin, repented and asked Him to take complete control and help me to use wisdom and practice self control with my eating. It didn't happen overnight, it was a process and took a few times of surrendering all over again, but He's amazing and faithful! And It's now been a few years since He shed light on my sin and I laid it at His feet and WOW, have His blessings followed. Now 50 pounds lighter, 4 dress sizes smaller and no longer in the pre-diabetic, high cholesterol categories, my doctor is super happy with me! It's a good feeling for sure. So why do I feel like a failure then? I know I'm not, so the only reason I can think of is because that is what the enemy Satan, wants me to feel. Well, guess what? I'm done. From this day forward I publicly declare and proclaim in the name of Jesus, I am not a failure! I am, in fact, MORE THAN A CONQUEROR in Christ Jesus my Lord, and starting today I am determined to live that way! In all areas of my life!! I do know who I am in Christ. I know that who I am in Christ is none of my own doing, but ALL because of His doing. He is holy, He lives in me, therefore I am holy. He is perfect, He lives in me, therefore I am perfect. He is righteous, He lives in me, therefore I am righteous. He is worthy, He lives in me, therefore I am worthy. Again, not because of anything I do or don't do, but all because of what Jesus has already done for me and is doing in me. So today, I will no longer walk in defeat and feelings of failure, but I will walk in His victory, in His truth, in His peace and in His love. I know He has more for me, more for my life and my destiny, so my question is, 'What other sins Lord, can you reveal to me? My heart's desire is still the same, change me from the inside out. Please, set me free from the sin that so easily entangles me. Continue to change me from glory to glory and have your way in me.'
