Yep I'm a hypocrite!

Rush of Fools-Undo Lyrics is pretty much my prayer song right now as I find myself once again not practicing self control!  So, once again, I'm seeking forgiveness, mercy, grace and the Holy Spirit's power to transform me and create in me a clean heart, as I surrender ALL of me to His Perfect Will and Way for my life!  Still so thankful to Pastor Kevin Wehr for shining a light on my sin in his Ecclesiastes sermons a year ago next month!  Wow time flies! So here I go again only it's NOT on my own like the WhiteSnake song says, because I'm going with Jesus! He is here to take the wheel, I just need to let Him!!!! 

"Rush Of Fools - Undo Lyrics

I've been here before, now here I am again 

Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in 

To label me a prodigal would be 

Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be 

[Chorus] 

Turn me around pick me up 

Undo what I've become 

Bring me back to the place 

Of forgiveness and grace 

I need You, need Your help 

I can't do this myself 

You’re the only one who can undo 

What I've become 

I focused on the score, but I could never win 

Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin 

To label me a hypocrite would be 

Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be 

[Chorus] 

Turn me around pick me up 

Undo what I've become 

Bring me back to the place 

Of forgiveness and grace 

I need You, need Your help 

I can't do this myself 

You’re the only one who can undo 

What I've become 

Make every step lead me back to 

The sovereign way that You 

[Chorus] 

Turn me around pick me up 

Undo what I've become 

Bring me back to the place 

Of forgiveness and grace 

I need You, need Your help 

I can't do this myself 

You’re the only one who can undo 

What I've become"

Argh! A little frustrated!

Sometimes I guess I just expect too much from certain people.  Especially those in leadership positions. I love honesty! I'm not afraid to be honest and speak what I feel or think no matter how foolish it may sound or wrong it may be.  I don't desire to offend anyone, but if it's how I feel or what I think, I say it. It doesn't mean I can't  be proven wrong or can't be convinced to believe a different way, because depending on the issue sometimes I can have a change of heart or mind. I know I am not always right! I know I get things wrong or perceive things different than what they really are, we all do. One true thing I am not a public speaker. I'm actually a very shy person, an introvert in many ways, I do better talking in very small crowds and even better one on one and mostly while walking.  It's just the way I am, I'm a better listener than a talker.  It doesn't mean I don't have a lot to say because I do, it just means, sometimes I like to process things for a long time before I speak and so sometimes I won't say much at all.  I think I'm better at writing what I feel, because I've already thought long and hard about what I want to say.... So back to topic, if someone stands up for something secretly, are they really standing up for it?! I mean if a person takes a stand for something, they should do it publicly, or not at all! Just like the verse says, "Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil. (Matthew 5:37 ESV)"  a person who privately stands for something but doesn't do it publicly, especially to the ones involved, has no backbone and lacks courage, simple as that.  I know it's harsh, but it's truth.  Don't take a stand for something or someone and then say, "this is confidential" and completely deny the stand you took or the side you took when it becomes public and hold it against the ones you told when it becomes evident to everyone what you truly believe or how you feel.  Basically if you can't say it to all involved, don't say it at all.  That is simply wrong in my book and I would say it's wrong in God's book too. It's deceptive and I'm sure done out of fear of man, maybe being too concerned about being accepted by everyone. Anyway I guess, I just expect to much sometimes, especially from self proclaimed Followers of Christ and those who continually quote the Bible.  I desire to see people actually live what they believe. Just like the preacher in church said today, faith is living out what you believe to be true! Don't be afraid to take a stand for the things you believe to be true and just! Let your yes be yes and your no be no, and yes I'm applying these words to myself as well as  to every other follower of Christ.  Lord Jesus, help me to live what I believe and to always stand for truth and justice as well as extend mercy and grace.

Hello? Blog world? Are you still there?

It has been years since I've last blogged! Ok, not years, sometimes I exaggerate, just a little. In reality it's been 5 months, and yes the last 5 months have flown by, just like every second, minute, hour and day fly by! I guess it's true what they say, the older you get, the faster time seems to go by.  Why? Who knows, there are all sorts of theories out there, but only God truly knows why.  

Well let me see, what to talk about?! There is so much to say and yet there is so much I am just not ready to say.... In time though, in time.   

Right now we are in the middle of summer, and so far it's been a busy but fun one!  From celebrating my grandmas 90th, to family weekend camp, to cooking and art church camps, to cousins staying with us for a week, to special treat times with friends, It truly has all been so wonderful thus far.  I'm trying to keep the kids busy, although with allergies and common colds attacking, sometimes all we want to do is stay in from the ferocious heat! Summer colds are the worst! Yes it's been a hot one, but on the bright side, it makes for perfect swim weather which we have also done a lot of, thank God my sister is so generous with her beautiful pool.  If she wasn't, I'm sure we would be bored at least half of the summer, but we're not! :)

 

In between all the fun, this has been a weird uncomfortable summer, for me especially, but again just not ready to talk about it all.  In time I will share.  I can say though, that God continues to reveal things to me about life in general and about what's most important in this life! Life is fragile, it really is!!! We need to live each day as if it were our last! That doesn't mean, go out today and try to DO everything you want to do before you die, it just means live peaceably with everyone in your life as far as it depends on you! Forgive and receive forgiveness! Absolutely no one is perfect and everyone needs grace! I need  grace all the time! I mess up constantly!!!! I thank God that He forgives me and loves me through it all. I thank God that He reveals things in my heart, mind and actions that are not pleasing to Him and helps me to change! He is Amazing and I don't want Him to stop refining me, I desire to be like Jesus His perfect Son.  So I welcome the fire, because I know In time He will make something beautiful out of me.  Please don't stop refining me until you're done Lord!

Well If I failed to mention one important thing that happened right before summer it would be just that, a fail. So here it is, my pastor and one of my closest friends, my friend sent from God, his wife, and their beautiful children left our church and moved away.  It's been a sad time in my life, and honestly a lonely time. It would be nice to have friends check in on me from time to time asking how I was doing... I guess I can't say no one has, I can think of a couple who reached out to me first through a text or a hug and they are one's who I would have least expected it from, but I am so grateful they did because it meant the world to me.  It's so hard when close friends move away! I thank God for technology though, it's a lot easier to stay in touch these days and that makes it slightly easier, but it's still hard. A cyber hug is not the same as a real warm hug from a friend or loved one you miss.  I won't be too hard on the Christians in my life who I thought would check on me knowing my God-friend was moving away though, I think fear of finding out too much or fear of gossip kept them from asking if I was ok, and I can't fault anyone for wanting to stay out of it or not wanting to sin. It just makes me sad this happens in Christ's church especially when we are supposed to be a family. It makes me more aware of trying to recognize those who may be hurting.  I know I fail constantly in this area and it's something I'm trying to work on! We all Need each other! Just like in the Sanctus Real song that has the "oh-oh's" in it that drive one of my friends crazy! Lol!  I love my friends, everyone of them and I don't just want to say it, I want to show it and I hope I get better at it, which is something else God has to do in me, there's a lot, and again i welcome it, I want Him to work in me!!! :)

My prayers these days consist of too many young ones that are fighting for their lives against cancer. I hate cancer!  I thank God for everlasting life, I know one day there will be no more death and I'm so thankful to Jesus for that! One day, we will live together for eternity, oh what a glorious day that will be!

7 fast for 7 weeks officially over

Wow the last 7 weeks have flown by and today my 7 week fast is over. As you can tell I did not blog at all during it...FAIL! And I did not do as well as I hoped in certain areas, mainly food and excercise but I did better than I would have done not doing the fast at all...Always trying to look at the positive side of things ;) I missed all the social media and loved when my sis would share a fb post with me here and there about mutual friends or family. I have to say though I DEFINITELY loved the freedom away from my phone (and laptop) and I think I actually concentrate better at certain tasks at hand not having the temptation of checking fb newsfeed all the time, or Instagram, twitter and Pinterest. In fact, I think it made such a difference that I am extremely hesitant to log back in to any of my social media accounts just yet... So the fast on those things will continue for a little longer. Well I have so much I want to get done today, that I'm all done writing for now. I'm thinking I might turn this blog into a family blog and start posting more about our family fun times and the unbelievably blessed life God has so graciously and sovereignly bestowed on us... Seriously my words cannot express how thankful I am to my Creator God for this amazing life I am so undeserving of, and I'm trying to live for Jesus to show my appreciation to Him. I remain filled with awe at the power of His grace and His mercies that are new EVERY morning! Oh how He loves us!!!!

Another 7 Fast and Challenge

January 7 fast and challenge 2013 12/1/12

Time for a physical, spiritual and mental fast to start the year off right! Starting tomorrow I will be fasting and challenging myself in these areas. I will try to blog at least once a week to help me keep myself accountable and to help me remember my experiences. So here's to 2013, and to making it a productive year! With God all things are possible :)

7 types Social Media (FB, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, YouTube, Fun websites, Fun Apps)

7 food categories to choose from vegetables, fruit, chicken, cheese, turkey, nuts, whole grains

7 possessions given away per week

7 prayers for 7 different people a day

7 exercises a week

7 shopping places using reusable shopping bags (Food 4 Less, Walmart, Walgreens, Savers, Garage sales, Ross, Amazon (need books and I have gift cards!)

7 scrapbook pages completed a week

I should blog...ok I will.

It's been awhile, I thought I would blog sooner than this, but pretty much the last 6 weeks have been a whirlwind!  I had planned on blogging so it would help me to stay accountable with my weakness, but life just got too busy for any extra.  I'm happy to report though, that I have been doing great practicing self control and I am feeling absolutely wonderful and energized!  God is so good!  He is faithful.  I've been walking with a friend in the morning, working out to Slim in 6 Beachbody.com video and eating mostly healthy, by choosing fresh fruit and nuts to curb my sweet and snack cravings.  I've lost 8 pounds so far since I started and really I'm down 11 pounds from my highest summer weight.  I am not stopping, I am determined to keep practicing self control until I reach my goals and I have to continue even after I've reached my goals, in order to maintain and in order to glorify God in my body, it belongs to Him.  I'm trying to die to myself daily, it's a process and only possible through Jesus.

So why has life been sooo busy?!  Well let's see, school started for one thing and I'm driving my kiddos to and from everyday.  I love them and I enjoy every minute of my time with them, even if it takes almost 3 hours out of my day.  One of the greatest highlights of my day?  My daughter and I have been laying on a blanket in the park reading a book together every morning before school, it's absolutely wonderful! Walking and working out daily takes a good 2 1/2 hours of my day, then of course I need to get ready so I don't stay in my workout clothes all day, like I did today.   I've been out of town a lot it feels like and I still have 2 more trips coming up, will be fun I'm sure!  I hosted a Pampered Chef party for a friend,  I'm facilitating a ladies Bible Study small group, doing the Newsletter for P.T.A as well as other Historian duties like taking pics, that's a fun one.  I still have Piano lessons, I'm co-directing a children's musical for church, helping out with the women's ministry team.  I'm involved in another life group, a bunko group, a book group as well.  I have to be honest I was feeling really overwhelmed the last couple of weeks, everything seemed to need to get done all at once and I just seriously felt like there wasn't enough time in the day, or days in the week to get everything done.  My house was completely out of order and I felt like I was running on empty.  Thank God, I was able to spend time in His presence, where He filled me back up and gave me the endurance to press on.  I went out of town last weekend with friends to Kay Arthur's "Revive Me" conference, and it honestly could not have been more perfect in timing.  I was needing that get away in a bad way!  It was good, I was fed as Kay Arthur submerged us in the Word of God...it is definitely true, The Bible contains words of LIFE! God met me there in a real way, I was struggling deeply with something and He gave me peace and revealed to me that I was living in fear and not trusting in His sovereignty, in His will and in His provision.   He pretty much made it clear as day, what I needed to do, so now I just need to pray about the when, where, why and how.  I know it is in His perfect time. 

Well do you ever write and then just feel like ending it abruptly?  That's how I feel right now.  I think I've said all I wanted to say at this time, but I just don't know how to end the this post. LOL...so I think I'll just end it now.  5 AM comes fast, but it's so worth getting up that early to meet with my Savior Jesus and spend time at His banquet table.  He always serves up, exactly what I need for the day.  He is AWESOME!

Month 7-Last Day of 7 was yesterday!

When I started the 7 experiment 7 months ago, I thought the last day of 7 would seem to take forever to come. Not surprised that the last 7 months really have flown by, because by talking to my friend the other night, I know I'm not the only one who really thinks time seems to be going by soooo much faster these days!  Why?! It's just plain weird... Anyway can't believe  my 7 experiment is already over now.   The things I will take with me are simple things but overall great things when practiced daily.

1 -I need to practice self control when eating and not over indulge too often if at all.  I need to not overbuy on food and let it go bad. I need to buy more healthy choices than not, God's all natural food really is the best, most satisfying and better for our bodies.  I need to always be thankful and say thank you to God for providing all the food we have...more than half of the people living on this earth do not have access to all the amazing food I as a wealthy American can so easily take for granted, especially when we go to a Vegas buffet!  I need to remember to give out of our abundance, fasting one day a week and giving the money for those meals to others who can't afford is one small way to help make a difference.

2- Having lots of clothing really does make life more complicated and spending hours and hours on doing laundry just isn't fun.  I can wear my clothes more than once if I managed to keep them mostly clean throughout the day. It helps cut down on water and soap usage as well as save time because there is not too much laundry to do.  I need to keep my closets maintained and for every new thing I buy I should give something away.

3- Possessions are a hard one, as there always seems to be something new that I want or "need". Like clothing I need to manage by giving something away each time I buy something, so that I won't accumulate an excess and so I can help others who don't have as much.

4- I need to make sure I am not letting media of any form hinder my relationship with Jesus or others. In Mentioning how fast time seems to be flying by, it especially flies by when media such as surfing on the internet is involved, it's like a big black hole and after the time has passed you wonder where it went and can't believe how fast it went.

5-  I need to do my part in taking care of God's beautiful creations by being a good steward with our resources. Conserving energy, recycling and reusing where possible...need to keep up shopping with reusable bags and really continue to cut down on the amount of waste my household produces.

6- I need to stick to a budget, cash one preferred and not excessively spend money out of control...luckily with the help of my church offering a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University for my husband and I to take, this one was already pretty much in place before I reached this month.   It's soooo important to be on the same page with your spouse, especially about finances. It's amazing how communication is so much better and arguments with eachother are almost non-existent, when you are on the same page with finances.

7-And one of the most important things I take away from 7 is to continue to cultivate my relationship with my Savior.  Pray without ceasing! Talk to my God regularly about anything and everything. There is nothing that He can't handle and He cares about every aspect of my life, much like  how I care for my own children, the only difference is, He is absolutely flawless at it! I need not worry or stress out about anything. I just need to trust and know that God is in control and He will work everything out for our good. 

And an additional praise is last month I made a public confession of my sin...since then God has completely forgiven me, as well as filled me with His spiritual gift of self control once again. I have worked out everyday except Sunday over the last two weeks, as well as have only eaten healthy all natural foods...I truly cannot do this out of my own will power, it is definitely coming from God's supernatural power and I give Him all the glory for it. Praise God, He is soooo good!!!!