Little Dark Secret

I feel like blogging but I'm speechless at the moment. Which could mean I will ramble on about absolutely nothing and write the longest post I've ever written or that I will end it right after I finish typing this sentence.  It's nearly summer break!!!! Woohoo!!!! I am so excited I can hardly contain it! I don't know why but I absolutely love summer time, even though in July it gets insanely hot. 116, 117 degrees Fahrenheit is not uncommon, BUT, it is, thankfully a dry heat and it does make a difference. (It does for me anyway!!!) Humidity is not my friend, even if it is better for your skin, it's miserable for me to endure, especially when accompanied with excessive heat! 

So do you ever consider yourself a failure? I do, pretty much everyday of my life! It's a good thing I know His grace is sufficient for me and that His mercies for me are new every morning!!! Seriously though, I'm clinging so tight to these promises of His right now.  It's comforting to read that, "HIS POWER is made PERFECT in my weakness!" Oh so comforting are the red lettered words of my Savior God.  I won't go into the details of my failures, but just know I have many. Work in me Lord, that is my prayer today.

Ok just one little dark secret detail about my failures. I'm still on a food fast of not eating sugar, carb heavy, junk foods.  It's more than a diet, in fact it's not a diet at all. It's a commitment I made to God and I can't even keep it! Yesterday I baked homemade chocolate chip cookies for youth group and for our new Spanish speaking neighbors across the street. (I REALLY need to learn Spanish!) Well I'm sure you know where this is going but I'll say it anyway, I devoured THREE of those sugary, carb heavy cookies which are in fact junk food. Failure. Yep that's me. His power is made perfect in weakness. What does that mean to me exactly? Just a reminder that I am a failure, that I do need Jesus because I'm not perfect and that I never will be on my own. My righteousness is only in Christ alone, I can not add to my righteousness at all. Jesus alone is my righteousness.

And now, back to summer... I said I don't know why I love it so much, but maybe I can think of a few reasons... A top reason, spending more time with my kids even though I may hear, "I'm bored", a lot. I hope not though! I like to stay busy myself, so I hope we will find lots of inexpensive things to do to keep us entertained. My kids are at the age now where they are too old for community programs which are mostly for elementary age kids. So I'm going to have to be more creative this summer on how to keep them busy. I'm open to any ideas so please don't hold back if you have one!! :) More top reasons for looking forward to Summer, sporadic traveling and small trips, we will take a few this summer and I'm excited about every one of them!!! I love, love, love going places. Especially if one of those places is the beach and right now I can only think of one trip planned where the beach is included, and not just any beach, it's a gorgeous beach in the crystal clear blue waters of the Caribbean ocean. I get to go back this summer, thanks to God, thanks to my husband and thanks to dear friends at church! Serving the people in the Dominican Republic, will be the highlight of my summer, my only wish is that my family could come and that it could be longer than a week. Prayerfully, one day my wish will come true.

So what else can this rambling woman ramble on about? Oh yeah! We just finished "I Am A Church Member" book by Thom Rainer in our ladies Bible study life group.  We were ALL challenged, encouraged, enlightened and inspired by the godly wisdom in it.  Seriously we all agree it is such an important book to read for every Christian new and old! It's extremely important for all of us to have a healthy, godly perspective on how we as members of the body of Christ and individual churches should function properly for the sake of the Gospel. READ IT and apply it! :) 

Let's see... My Facebook fast is boring. Miss Facebook, enough said ;)

Thinking now I should do a complete media fast, but I really don't want to and I think I would just be setting myself up for more failure if I did, so I won't at this time. It's crazy how much media is a part of my life and not just mine, everyone else's too! It's definitely a cultural thing. If you think you're not addicted to it, try to give it up. You'll see real fast that you are in fact addicted. Internet, radio, television, cellphones with all their awesome apps from everything like playing games to online banking. Technology is just a way of life for me, in our culture it seems impossible to live without it. Agree? Why or why not? Anyhow, if I'm going to fast media completely again, it's going to take an audible voice from God telling me to, or me being stranded on an island somewhere with no wifi. I'm addicted. Sad, but true.

Brag about my life moment: I love my kids. I'm proud of them and their accomplishments this school year. I love my husband. I could never in my wildest dreams ask for a better one than him. I love my family, my friends and I'm so very thankful for all God has blessed me with. I know I don't deserve any of it, and it's only by His great love and mercy that my life is as good as it is. Praying He helps me live with open hands and a soft heart daily.

Today I went to visit my friend Jenny. I try to go at least once a week. She is bed bound with MS. I wish there was something I could do for her other than spend time visiting with her, bringing goodies to her and reading a book to her.  I painted her nails again today which she loves, and I love that it makes her happy to have pretty sparkly nails.  I also played my favorite Bethel album of the moment, "You Make Me Brave", for her and she kept asking who it was because she loved it so much. Jenny is a true sweetheart, she always has been.  I hope and pray daily that God would heal her and restore her health. I trust that He is using her life for His glory and some how, some way, good will come out of her circumstances, even though at this time it's impossible for me to see how. Her life is so precious. She is a faithful Christian wife of a good hardworking man and a mom of 6 beautiful kids... I'm thankful there is more to this life than what we have on earth, and I'm so thankful for the hope of Heaven. I know one day, disease, decay and death will be swallowed up in victory.

God is soooooo good!!!! Did I mention that? I don't think I did, so I'm doing it now. He is incredible. I owe my whole life to Him. I would be utterly hopeless without Him. I can't imagine living one day without His presence. I wish people far from God would realize just how complete their lives would be if they accepted His awesome love and free gift of salvation. Nothing in this life compares with knowing Christ Jesus as Lord, trusting Him as Savior, worshipping Him as God and relating to Him as friend. He really is my all in all. He loves me when I'm unloveable and is my constant companion in this life, so full of ups and downs. There is no one like God!

Me and Jenny :)

P.S. I miss my God friend Molly so much it hurts my heart bad. :'(

I forget everything!

I'm blogging this because I forget everything! And by everything, I mean everything!! My husband says I remember things but I tell him I really only remember things if I've taken a picture of it or if I've written it down somewhere... Other than remembering random things from my childhood, I can't seem to remember much else, since...well...since having kids! I'll blame my memory loss on them, it's a good thing they're worth it!! :) So this past Sunday at our awesome life group, I had to leave early, which I hate doing, but I also hate to miss out on playing with the bunco babes for Jesus so I had to leave... We had been discussing chapter 5 of Ephesians and a question was asked, "why are husbands commanded to love their wives, and the wives aren't told to love their husbands but to submit and respect them?" It's a good question... So why?! I wanted a clear cut answer, before I left the discussion, some things that drive me crazy are open ended questions, I always want to know why. I always want to understand, I always want to know why I believe the way I believe, so I have a hard time letting certain things go, sometimes it's annoying but yeah...anyway. So I thought about it a little on the way to bunco, and I almost asked my friend who picked me up what she thought, but I didn't....When I arrived home after bunco, I asked my husband how the rest of life group went and especially the discussion. He shared with me a little and it got me thinking more.  The verses don't just say "husbands love your wives" it actually goes into detail about the kind of love it's talking about, it's a sacrificial love, the same kind if love Christ loves each of us with when He gave His own life for us. So it's so much more than, infatuated love, romantic love, sexual love, or protective love etc. it's a selfless, unconditional, servant kind of love. And it hit me, that this kind of love is powerful, transforming and life changing. It's the kind of love that initiates an overwhelming response in us. Just like when a person realizes the enormous sacrifice Jesus Christ made for them because of His love for them, that person can't help but to love and devote themself back to Jesus. So because a marriage between a man and a woman is a picture of the relationship of Christ and His Church, it makes sense that the husband, the head of the wife, much like Christ is the head of the church, is told to love His wife like Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. When a woman is loved in that sacrificial way by her husband, her response will always be one of love and devotion back to her husband, just like our response to our Savior is love and devotion because of what He did for us.  As the head and spiritual leader of the wife, the husband seems to have the greater responsibility of loving first, like when it is said, we love God because He first loved us. God designed the husband and wife relationship to function perfectly, resulting in sanctification and holiness for all of us, just like the relationship between Christ and His Bride.  God makes it possible for the husband to succeed in the commandment he has been given. It happens when the husband, who being a part of the body of Christ, obeys the command to submit to Christ and selflessly and sacrificially love his wife out of His love and devotion to Christ his Lord and Savior. 

My mind was put at ease when God helped me to understand the answer to the question in this way. There may be a lot more to the answer that I still need to learn, but at least this explanation gives me peace for the moment. I'd completely love to hear more insight into it of anyone is willing to share it with me :)

First Time

"It is finished!" The famous last words of The Savior on the cross, the irony is that, it's really only the beginning of new life in Christ, for those who believe on Him! The Holy and Perfect Lamb of God, uttered these words not only because his mission on earth was complete but also because he became the sacrifice for all of us. We are righteous in no other way, except through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ. When I think of the amazing, freeing gift we have in Christ, it overwhelms me greatly with a heart of gratitude and love for my God. There are not adequate words to express how truly miraculous it is to live a life knowing He has completed the work on my behalf. I will never have to know what it's like to live under a yoke of bondage or heavy burdens. I'll never have to be good enough, righteous enough, or holy enough to spend eternity with my Abba Father in Heaven, because through Christ alone, God already sees me in all those ways! Wow! Simply amazing!!!

So this was my first time observing Lent. Two years ago I stated that I had never been taught to observe Lent and really didn't understand the why behind it all. Growing up I had friends who observed it, by giving up chocolate, (which, btw I didn't really care for chocolate in my younger days, I was foolish back then, what can I say?!), but that was the most religious I had ever seen them act or speak all year long. And honestly when they did speak of it they didn't sound excited about it. It sounded more like a burden and something they "had" to do then something they wanted to do or were privileged to do. Well this year, I decided, I'm just going to do it. We are called to pray and fast, so why not join the Lent fast. So I did, I decided I would fast sugar, all carbs except fruits and veggies, and junk food.  It was a great decision, one of my best yet and all because I committed to do it for Jesus. He helped me to succeed far beyond my expectations. I chose a 46 day Lent devotional and Bible reading, which drew me closer to Christ in the process! Not only do I feel better physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. He is simply amazing!!! AND because, it all went so well I decided, I'm going to continue the food fasting as well as kick it up a notch by fasting Facebook too. (GASP!) Not Facebook, I love Facebook, but let's be honest now, I'm on there way too much! I love keeping in touch with family and friends on there, it's even helped grow some relationships with new friends, it's a great tool for praying for those who need it and sharing  truth and encouraging words too, but anything, even if it's good, needs to be used with some self control!!! Once again, I know Jesus will help me succeed, I chose another devotional, actually two, and hopefully He'll draw so near to me that I'll be able to touch the hem of a His garment! (Yes, I desire physical healing :) 

And so my journey with Jesus continues.   I look forward to all that lies ahead in the next 50 days or so :)

G.O. Ministries Mission Trip

Do you ever get so focused on something, that it distracts you from just about everything else? I do, and lately I have been, distracted. So distracted in fact I've been working on this blog post for 12 days now! Hard as I might, to try and concentrate on the task at hand, I still find myself obsessed with my thoughts lately! So I try and pray, and I do pray. I pray and I pray some more, but it never seems enough. I know I just need to "let go and let God", I need to trust that God has everything under control and although people and leaders will sometimes make the wrong choices, God can and will use it all for good, in the lives of those who truly love Him and are called according to His purposes. Sometimes, trusting and letting go is easier said than done though, and I'm positive I have A.D.D.! ;)

Well this blog is my attempt to get my mind away from my obsession and onto events that were life changing for me. A group of ladies and I just recently finished studying the book of Daniel and WOW, what an amazing study!! In the words of a good friend and pastor, B.G., one of my "biggest take aways" from the Daniel study, would be to heed the words of Daniel to King Nebuchadnezzar, "Wherefore, O king, let my counsel be acceptable unto thee, and break off thy sins by righteousness, and thine iniquities by shewing mercy to the poor; if it may be a lengthening of thy tranquillity." (Daniel 4:27 KJV) So what does it mean? Exactly what it says, turn from my sin pursue and live for Jesus Christ who is my righteousness, and show mercy to the poor...I like the way the Message translation puts it, “So, king, take my advice: Make a clean break with your sins and start living for others. Quit your wicked life and look after the needs of the down-and-out. Then you will continue to have a good life.” (Daniel 4:27 MSG) 

I admit I am selfish. No, I'm not the MOST selfish person in the world, but I'm definitely FAR from selfless. I consciously make efforts to live for others, but I admit for me, it takes sacrifice. It doesn't always just come naturally! Anyway, I often think of the first time God provided for me to go on a G.O. Ministries mission trip to Dominican Republic and Haiti with South Hills Church and the great impact it has had on my life. I journaled daily while there, and I'm so glad I did because along with pictures, it helps me to remember vividly my thoughts, feelings, and the awesome God encounters I experienced.  One of the most vivid experiences of the mission trip is when I arrived back to my house, sounds strange, I know. But It was then that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am RICH. The realization hit me hard, that I'm rich not just because I am complete in Christ by putting my faith and trust in Him, but believe it or not, also because of my worldly possessions! It's not that I felt guilty when I drove up to my house and saw it with a new pair of eyes, but I knew in that moment when Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”, (Matthew 19:23, 24 ESV) it is talking about me, my family, all of us. WE are the rich ones. So the passage in Daniel mentioned above, was a good reminder for me, to not forget, to not lose sight, to not get caught up in Babylon out here in western civilization, and forget about the good work God began in my heart. I'm so thankful His Holy Word gives this encouraging promise, "being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6 NIV) And so I pray, keep working in me Lord Jesus, keep refining me, keep transforming my heart to be a reflection of Yours, because it is You I seek, desire and love! I want a heart that prefers You above all else!!!

I love this following quote from Jen Hatmaker-7, An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

"And I was so blinded I didn't even know we were rich. How can I be socially responsible if unaware that I reside in the top percentage of wealth in the world? (You probably do too: Make $35,000 a year? Top 4 percent. $50,000? Top 1 percent.)Excess has impaired perspective in America; we are the richest people on earth, praying to get richer. We're tangled in unmanageable debt while feeding the machine, because we feel entitled to more. What does it communicate when half the global populationlives on less than $2 a day, and we can't manage a fulfilling life on twenty-five thousand times that amount? Fifty thousand times that amount? It says we have too much, and it is ruining us."

"REMEMBER" (2011)

Sex in Songs

So tonight while cleaning my super messy scrapbook room, I've been listening to Today's Hits on Pandora and it's got me thinking how insane it is that many of the popular songs are about sex. It's ironic how people are comfortable publicly singing about sex, dancing to songs about sex, and watching music videos about sex, but yet don't go around talking about sex to anyone and everyone they meet. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm a married woman, and I know sex is a beautiful unmatchable gift our God created for us to be able to enjoy between husband and wife.... I don't know, it's just got me thinking. Is listening to the provocative, lust inducing, sometimes offensive songs on the radio, putting a stumbling block in our growth as Holy children of God? Are we choosing to hinder our sanctification process by listening to music porn? Would Jesus Christ Himself be listening to the radio stations I enjoy most? Would I feel comfortable playing my favorite today's hit songs for my Lord to listen to with me as we go for a drive together?  I know there is freedom in Christ, but I also know "all things are lawful but not all things are helpful"  (1Corinthians 6 and 10)

 We are told "we are in the world, but not OF the world." Is listening to the world's music causing us to be a product of the world? In the words of Jesus, "I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth."  (John 17:14-19 ESV) 

I'm sure... no, I'm positive, there will be some with differing answers to my questions and I would love to hear them!  I know living as a Christian in this world is not easy, and we can easily be too extreme on some subjects. That's not my intention. I don't believe every "secular" radio hit is a stumbling stone, in fact I know some songs are so good, inspirational, encouraging and even speak of true love. I'm not a legalist, I don't believe the music we listen to, that doesn't honor God, means we are not saved or will send us to hell.  I just believe it could hinder the spiritual growth and sanctification that our Heavenly Father desires in His sons and daughters.  Remember He desires to transform us! :) "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect". (Romans 12:1, 2 ESV)  

So...I conclude with this, I love music, all types! I love songs with good fun dance beats, in fact, I'm looking for songs to add to my "Fun" songs playlist. I want songs that are new, upbeat, hip and clean enough that I won't be embarrassed to listen to with my awesome teenagers and feel like I'm violating their innocence.  So friends and family, I'm open to some of your favorite suggestions, so please share! :)

Molasses Sandwich Cookies

For 11 years now I've hosted a Christmas cookie exchange dinner party for 12. I look forward to it every year, not just for the delicious assortment of goodies, but also because it's worth it to me to be able to set aside a night to visit with a few girlfriends, new and old, during the busiest time of year by enjoying a nice dinner, dessert and games together.  This year I came across a cookie I wanted to make but couldn't find the recipe, so I combined two recipes to make these  Molasses Sandwich Cookies.  I wound up making a total of 24 dozen this year and giving away lots as gifts. My family wishes I wouldn't have given so many away, because they still wanted more. So here is the yummy recipe, I know I'll definitely be making again next Christmas!

Molasses Sandwich Cookies

• 1-1/2 cups butter, softened
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup molasses
• 4-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 4 teaspoons ground ginger
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1-1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup Sugar crystals
• White Chocolate (melted) (1/2 pound)
• Green and Red Tube frosting or Green and Red (Wilton) melting chocolates.

FILLING:
• 1/2 cup shortening
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 2 cups confectioners' sugar
• ¼ cup milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
(Add more sugar if necessary for thick and creamy consistency)


Directions
Preheat oven to 350°. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs and molasses. Combine the flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves and salt in a separate bowl; gradually add to creamed mixture and mix well.

Use a 1 inch cookie scoop to form dough into balls. Dip top 
rounded side of cookie ball into sugar crystals. Place crystal side up onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake 8-10 minutes or until tops are cracked. Flatten hot cookies slightly and cool on wire racks. 

Melt white chocolate and dip half of baked cooled cookies (6dozen), halfway into melted white chocolate, dry on waxed paper. 
Decorate Holly’s with green and red frosting 
or green and red melted chocolate. 
(I used a sandwich bag with a tiny piece of the corner cut off). 

Make Filling, cream shortening and butter together, add sugar milk and vanilla. Beat until smooth and creamy. Spread filling between a decorated cookie and a plain cookie to form a sandwich. 

Yield: 6 dozen sandwich cookies. (Recipe can be doubled, or larger sandwich cookies made using a 2 inch cookie scoop)

Random again

I'm blogging because sometimes I just feel like talking and everyone else in the world seems to be asleep.  I know there are many awake though and many awake with heartache or concern. I like to use times of not being able to sleep to pray for friends that need or have asked for prayer and since I've already prayed hoping I haven't left anyone out, but trusting God hears and knows my heart for each person, He will come through in His perfect timing, will and way for each one. 

 After talking with a friend, hearing a sermon, and reading a blog post all on the topic at hand, I've been thinking a lot about why God allows some of us to be raised in a hard or hurtful environment, or why God allows certain trials, struggles or tragedies to occur in our lives, or even why some people have never had to experience a truly sad, difficult or hard time.  I know God knows, He doesn't have to wonder like I am, He already knows the reasons and I know one day everything will be clear to us as well, but until that day I will wonder.

I will think and I will and pray that He shows me and I will be ready to receive the answers.